


Time for changes

by soulhead



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Hopeful Ending, M/M, Melancholy, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24409324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulhead/pseuds/soulhead
Summary: "I think it's in my interest to not drive for Ferrari next year."Sebastian thought he would be alright uttering those definitive words.It's a simple statement, one that he rehearsed in his head at least 100th times.But saying it out loud while team principal is on the other end of the phone...Well, it feels like a messy split-up.
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel
Kudos: 31





	Time for changes

_I think it's in my interest to not drive for Ferrari next year._

Sebastian thought he would be alright uttering those definitive words.

It's a simple statement, one that he rehearsed in his head at least 100th times.

But saying it out loud while his team principal is on the other end of the phone...Well, it feels like a messy split-up. In a sense it is. A break-up from a five year-long relationship, one that left him washed out, tired to the bone, _drained_.

Despite all of that, he doesn't feel as liberated as he thought he would once he finished his call with Mattia. Their conversation has left a sour aftertaste in his mouth and for long minutes he's lost in the remembrances of all the things that went wrong during those five years.

With a heavy sigh, he eventually decides he doesn't want to waste any more time on the eternal question of what he could have done better to avoid this ultimately disappointing conclusion. He abruptly stands up and sets himself to search for where Kimi has wandered around the house since the beginning of his call.

Without surprise, he spots him outside, resting against the trunk of a young oak tree they planted two years ago, his cap shielding his face from the sun.

At this familiar sight, a subtle warmth begins to flood his chest and Sebastian takes a deep inhale as he exits the house to join his partner.

On the way, he takes off his slipper and lets the grass tingles the sole of his feet.

The fluid movements of the Oak's leaves draw an almost enticing painting, he thinks in a bit of a daze, as he stares at them and lets himself slip against the trunk as silently as he can.

An eternity pass before he gently grasps Kimi's hand into his.

His hand feels soft against his own skin, grounding him to his presence in their garden and away from a mountain of resentments menacing to swallow him.

«So ?» Kimi croaks out from under his cap as he gently rubs his thumb against Sebastian's palm.

«Binotto didn't really expect it...He thought we were just going to discuss about last week's proposition.» he answers without further details.

«Well, too bad for him, uh ?»

Sebastian mumbles noncommittally, before being handed the small bottle of beer Kimi was nursing.

«You want to go for a walk ?»

For a few seconds, he ponders Kimi's proposition. Long strolls across the mountains surrounding their house clears his mind more efficiently than anything. Or maybe it's just the presence of Kimi, grumbling endlessly about how much he hates hiking yet still walking by his side that soothes his mind.

Today through, he wants to pretend the universe doesn't extend beyond their property. He wants to indulge himself in believing the hedge around their property can shield him indefinitely from what awaits him in the outer world.

He takes a gulp of the beer, looks at the backyard absentmindedly, before his eyes lands on the bad weeds that began growing over the seedling of tomatoes he planted a few weeks ago.

«The garden should be weeded...» he observes outloud.

«Mhmm.» Kimi mutters as he lifts up his cap and looks in the same direction as Sebastian. His partner then stands up, extending his hand to him in a wordless invitation.

And when he goes back to bed this evening with achy articulations and dirt underneath his fingernails, he falls asleep into Kimi's arms in a matter of seconds.

In his dreams, he see himself as he's completing his final lap as a Ferrari driver. He senses with a stark realism the vibrations underneath his seat, the heat trapped in his helmet. For a moment, he's convinced he's there, watching the light poles of the Abu Dhabi rapidly passing by him and mistaking them with stars.

 _This will be goodbye_ , his subconscious tells hims. After a moment that seemed as if it had stretched over eons, his mind offers him another sight and envisions him standing in front of the roaring crowd that came to assist to the last moment of his career.

He lets the hints of desperation and melancholia hidden behind every scream, and every applause washes over him.

And as his imagined self stands tall to face them, his heart beats in a light, carefree rhythm.

When his eyes finally opens themselves once again, he's back in his own bed. Nothing but silence meet him, if not for the subtle noise of his partner's even breaths.

_He has made his choice._

In the following days, his phone doesn't stop ringing. Representatives from McLaren, Renault and even Mercedes call him.

Yet, he barely entertain any of the propositions he receives, already thinking about how he'll feel at the end of the year, if the images he saw in his dream will be prophetic enough to compare to reality.

He guesses he'll have to wait to see, but he's sure of one thing :

When all will be said and done, the applause of the crowd will eventually quietens. Then, he'll turns their back to them to take a long, long flight back home.

Once he'll finally reach his destination, he'll watch snow falls on their oak tree. Kimi will be beside him, surrounding him with his familiar warmth.

And as they'll both lose themselves in this sight, Sebastian will eagerly wait for the first day of summer to come.


End file.
